Old Timers Struggle to Cope With Their Irrelevant Opinions

Submitted by Will Cozine on Wed, 05/02/2018 - 15:08 - 0 Comments
Lincoln students have a unique sense of fashion, but also follow the current trends like a flock of sheep. Whatever the new styles are, the older generation of Lincoln alumni cannot take it. 
I sat in on the “Coping with Trends Circle” hosted by AARP to gain an insight into the plight of these troubled people. As the retirees bravely shared their most recent testimonies on the latest fads at Lincoln High School, the support of their peers was evident. 
Howard Mayes, a graduate of 1966, is disgusted by clout goggles. “These kids look like damn aliens! Is this where the future of the world lies?” he shouts. 
The woman beside him, Martha, tries to calm him down by saying that “it will pass” but this does not help. 
Mayes stammers, “And what next, CLEAR JEANS?” 
Someone across the circle remarks that those already exist. Mayes cannot take it anymore and has to leave. The woman beside me apologizes, explaining that he has been on edge since his granddaughters started wearing crop tops. I understand. These people must be going through a lot, feeling so hopeless about the future.
The mediator of the circle is a courtly young woman who is required to wear a plain white dress to avoid triggering the PTSD that vexes some of the members. It can be triggered by the horrendous trends of the past. I was informed of a member who was hospitalized because he saw kids wearing 90’s clothes at Lincoln and had flashbacks. 
Most of the members of the circle have been going every Thursday evening for the last year to two years. The circle was first suggested by Henry Simon back when doing the Whip and Nae Nae became a huge trend. 
He was present at this meeting and I asked him what his mindset was when creating the club. “I couldn’t stand there watching the future I helped to create crumble before my eyes, and I knew there had to be others out there like me,” he said with demonstrable despair in his voice. 
“We are always dismissed by the teens and millennials as grouchy old-timers, but they haven’t seen what I’ve seen. I lived through necktie belts and shiny cargo pants but one more epidemic could spell my, and some of my friends here’s doom.” 
Near the end of the session I notice that many of the people are starting to feel better. 
I don’t want to be just a spectator so I decide to address the elephant in the room “What do you all suppose we do about fidget spinners?” 
Silence. I look around the room. About half of the group members pull out their own fidget spinners as I stare stunned. 
This time I struggle to find words. “B-but this is the most popular trend right now. How can you guys be a part of this?” 
They all shell up defensively, “They help us cope with PTSD, they are backed by science you know,” Martha says coyly.
I reiterate that it is what all the teens are using at school and they look disgusted with me. What Mr. Simon said to me next changed my entire perspective on these people. 
He said, “We don’t hate trends just because they are trends. We hate that people follow trends just because they are trends.”